Refernces For Rissy Roo's

When NOT give
is better than giving


Not that there's that fear the no.
He can not be the most generous and most powerful to help someone.
Tefilah People who do not know. Often, though sincerely ask what they think they need, the answer may be NO, and can recognize that this is not the most loving response you may receive.

When is it best not to?

It takes more than one to answer that question. And how lucky

who thinks that discriminate easily know when the aid, and committed-real-is to give and when to stop.
you be more generous in not giving that releasing all with open hands.

Of course each case is unique, but it would not hurt to ask every time what

give?, how to?, how far to give?, why give?
say many things when we give someone. Dar

can send a message of confidence. Dar

can send a message to fill impotence.

When they give you are sending a silent message (-which may even be silent even for yourself-) to another person to understand that is very capable, very courageous, too strong, acknowledge his lack of strength and then seems need help. And we all know how good you are. And do not think so ... and give. I do not know if that would be a generous aid.

not always have to help by giving, sometimes aid more when they do not give.

When you say NO, you may be recognizing the full potential of the other person has to get ahead, you're saying that will not shrink, to try their own wings, then assume that their wings have the strength to hold it in their attempts for flying.

Sometimes giving is a way to dominate, to control, to submit.

Sometimes saying no is a way to respect, trust, release.

problems often become motors that move us to other stages in life.

problems force us to think, to look for alternatives and new ways.

Solving problems we grow, we become stronger. Not always have to keep the people we go through problems, problems are opportunities for growth, let it strengthen its wings, say no at the appropriate time may be the best help you can give someone.

Sometimes giving, encourages people to stay little, "and stay put, by the way, in place of the powerful," saying does not help them grow.

This way not to give aid community that recognizes the capabilities on the other to resolve their situation. No longer a painless, but stronger. Worthwhile. Receive

not force you to think, act, to change course. A search for new options.
Play someone confident in your ability, that is a real help.

Who said you should have everything we want?

not kid ourselves into a magical world, accept the resignation and the pain of living with the feet on the ground that at the end of the day will reward truer and deeper, for the sole fact of being real.

help others to perceive its limits, and recognize what is and what is not possible. And even where to get, and how far you need to learn is to stop and think otherwise. Sabina



Alazraki
Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy S_alazraki@hotmail.com